I'm A Couples' Therapist & This Is The Single Most Important Love Lesson I Teach - mindbodygreen
So, where do we learn differentiation—or our lack thereof? In psychology, introjection is an unconscious internalization of the thoughts, behavior, or traits of others. It occurs as a normal part of development, such as a child taking on parental values and attitudes. However, it can also be a defense mechanism, and in many instances, introjection creates unconscious behavior, rigidity, anxiety, fixedness, and suffering. We introject our level of differentiation from our parents and family of origin. Children usually recreate their parents' level of differentiation or lower since that is what they are shown. However, due to life circumstances, therapy, or being with a partner with a higher level of differentiation, children can evolve past their family of origin. To increase your level of differentiation, you must begin to commit yourself to show up very differently in conflict with your partner. You must cultivate a tremendous amount of mindfulness and self-awareness. You must co...