Best Local Dating Sites & Apps of 2019 - DatingNews
Best Local Dating Sites & Apps of 2019 - DatingNews |
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| Best Local Dating Sites & Apps of 2019 - DatingNews Posted: 05 Nov 2019 05:42 AM PST Local dating sites may sound like they're for homebodies, but they're actually one of the most effective ways to spark a real-time connection. Local couples typically don't have to grapple with things like cultural differences or long-distance relationships. Instead, they can start the relationship on common ground — literally — and go on a date without taking a road trip or booking a flight. Singles shouldn't have to travel too far outside their comfort zones or their city limits to find an attractive date. Local dating apps can identify the closest date options by using the mobile device's GPS information, while dating sites have distance-related searches to narrow the dating field to a certain mile radius. We've picked out several local dating sites and apps that effectively turn global dating networks into a neighborhood of real romantic possibilities. Go on and give them a try! Best Overall Local Dating Sites & AppsLet's not waste time. You want the best of the best, and that's what this list is all about. Our dating experts have tested, reviewed, and ranked the biggest names in the dating industry for the benefit of singles everywhere. With no further ado, here is the #1 dating site for local men and women:   Match.com has come a long way since it launched in April 1995. This well-reputed dating site has honed its (read more)
Since 1995, Match has distinguished itself as one of the most efficient dating services in the U.S. and abroad. The dating site claims to be responsible for arranging more dates, relationships, and marriages than any of its competitors. Match launched a companion app, available on Google Play and the App Store, to keep up with the times and give local daters the opportunity to mix and mingle wherever they go. Match has also been known to host singles-friendly events in major cities, and these are great for daters who feel they make a better first impression in person than they do online.   EliteSingles.com maintains a sophisticated network of young professionals seeking a relationship. Over 80% of (read more)
EliteSingles has raised the bar in the online dating scene by inviting the most successful and attractive singles to come together. The site supports a top-tier dating community of doctors, lawyers, professors, and other well-educated individuals. Over 85% of EliteSingles members have graduated from college, and over 90% say they want to get in a relationship. Due to its intelligent matchmaking and high-quality membership, our dating experts consider EliteSingles as the premier dating site for professionals seeking a true partner in life.   Zoosk is a socially savvy dating site known for its diverse membership base and behavioral matchmaking system. (read more)
Zoosk reaches 80 countries and has been translated into 25 languages, so some people may not necessarily think of it as a local dating site, but its free search and matching features quickly turn a database of 40 million singles into a few compatible options. In 2007, Zoosk pioneered a socially savvy online dating experience where singles can choose their own adventure. They can swipe through the Carousel, see who's online now, or use the search tools to make a connection. Zoosk relies on behavioral matchmaking to power its SmartPick recommendations and help singles find attractive dates. Zoosk couples sing the site's praises and prove that the site can work for singles interested in something real.   Since its launch in 2000, eharmony has endeavored to find the formula for love. Its 29-dimension questionnaire (read more)
Speaking of something real, eharmony is the real deal, and its reputation as a relationship-driven site is most definitely deserved. When it launched in 2000, eharmony made headlines by using psychology to inspire love and marriage. The dating site still creates matches based on its 29 dimensions of compatibility, and new members must fill out a lengthy questionnaire if they want to make the most of their experience on eharmony. The personal questions encourage self-reflection and prompt singles to think about who they are, what they like, and what they're looking for in a partner — and in life in general. The more honestly you answer these questions, the more accurate your compatibility ratings will be. The eharmony matching system has stood the test of time and sparked countless relationships, and the team stands behind its efficacy, promising singles that they'll meet someone special within three months of subscribing, or eharmony will give them another three-month subscription for free.   ChristianMingle is a faith-based dating site for singles who want a relationship grounded in Christian values. (read more)
ChristianMingle stands out in the online dating scene as the most popular dating site for Christians seeking Christians. It offers a safe haven where true believers can talk about their faith, family, and values without worrying about offending anyone. Even though ChristianMingle's membership base isn't 100% Christian, everyone joins expecting to meet Christian dates here, and some of the non-Christians are open to converting for the right person. The site isn't about keeping anyone out or defining love and marriage in a certain way — it's about bringing like-minded people together and inspiring devout connections. ChristianMingle's success stories include couples who lived right around the corner from one another, yet they still say they may never have met without the helpful intervention of the dating site.   Since its launch in 2002, BlackPeopleMeet has created an African-American singles network that stretches (read more)
BlackPeopleMeet is a niche dating site for local black and biracial singles who are in the mood to flirt. Since 2002, the site has established the largest black singles network in the U.S. and Canada, and it has a lot of resources for local daters. Free members can browse BlackPeopleMeet for as long as they like without paying anything. They can like and favorite profiles or send virtual flirts to show they're interested in connecting. Only premium members can send messages on BlackPeopleMeet, though, so you don't have to worry about non-serious people showing up in your inbox. "I really enjoyed being on this site for the short time I've been on here," said a former BlackPeopleMeet member. "My reason for leaving this site is because I met this beautiful lady on here recently, and we have hit it off."   In 2004, OkCupid's founders decided to create a fool-proof formula for love, and they launched a free dating (read more)
OkCupid is a free dating site that operates under the motto "dating deserves better." Since 2004, the OkCupid team has endeavored to provide better matches and better options than its competition. How does it do that? By using math, of course. No kidding, OkCupid was the brainchild of four Harvard math majors who wanted to solve the equation of love, so they began collecting data from singles. OkCupid started out heavily focused on personal questions — it still has over 4,000 match questions in its system — and it used commonalities in values, opinions, sexuality, reasoning, goals, and other personality quirks to determine compatibility. Locals can use OkCupid's compatibility rating system to identify the most viable date prospects in a given mile radius. The best part is that all communication is free and unlimited on OkCupid, so it doesn't cost anything to say hi and see what happens. Every year, OkCupid creates over 91 million love connections and 260,000 dates.   Plenty of Fish prides itself on being one of the best dating site for conversations. It supports 100% free and (read more)
PlentyOfFish boasts some impressive stats to tempt people to join. The dating site has over 150 million registered members spread across 20 countries, and it grows by over 65,000 new registrations a day. Local singles can make a big splash in this exciting dating pool. Communication is 100% free and unrestricted, meaning you don't need a paid subscription or a mutual match to introduce yourself to a hot date. As long as you're kind, respectful, and real, you can stay in the POF community for as long as you like. If you have any questions along the way, you can use the Help Center to figure out how to manage your profile, start conversations, and have a good experience on PlentyOfFish.   In 2012, Tinder pioneered a swiping-based match system that empowered singles to connect with dates who liked (read more)
Tinder was among the first dating apps to understand and harness the power of local dates. In 2012, the app pioneered a swiping and mutual matching system that has become the standard operating procedure for many dating platforms today. It's free to join Tinder and set preferences for your ideal date's age, gender, and location. Once you've gotten your profile approved, the app will recommend dates who meet your criteria and live in the area. Tinder is a local dating app, so you won't be able to search the globe for a date — but, then again, why would you want to when you have a lot of options in your backyard? Tinder is active in 190 countries, and it sees over 2 billion views per day and inspires over 1 million dates per week.   Since its launch in 2014, Bumble has positioned itself as one of the queens of the online dating world. The (read more)
In 2014, Bumble drew a line in the sand and created a progressive dating app with a zero-tolerance policy for jerks, creeps, and chauvinists. Whitney Wolfe Herd was one of Tinder's Co-Founders, but she left the company to forge a more female-friendly path for modern singles. Bumble's motto is "ladies first," and it enforces that in all opposite-sex interactions on the app by only allowing women to send the first message once a mutual match has been formed. Women have to send a message within 24 hours (or 48 if the guy chooses to extend it), or the connection will disappear without a trace. "I love that I don't get bombarded with messages like [I do on] other sites," said Cara, a Bumble user. "I have to make the first move." Best Senior Local Dating Sites & AppsSenior dating may have its difficulties and drawbacks, but it doesn't have to be a hellish experience. Singles just need to know where to go to meet mature dates and make an honest connection. Senior dating sites offer safety tools as well as a supportive network to get singles over 50 back in the game. You don't have to be very tech-savvy to have a good time and meet local dates on the following sites.   SilverSingles is serious about helping singles over 50 meet one another, and the site doesn't allow anyone (read more)
SilverSingles can offer a new beginning to divorced, widowed, and never-married singles in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and up. The dating site is straightforward in how it matches people You can go into your settings to select your ideal date preferences (age, height, education, income, ethnicity, religion, etc.) and select how important each trait is to you. Maybe there's some wiggle room on height, for instance, but the distance you are willing to travel is more of a dealbreaker. All this information factors into which profiles appear in your Matches. Every month, SilverSingles adds more than 120,000 members to its seniors-only network, and it is rapidly becoming one of the most popular dating sites for the over-50 crowd.   OurTime is an over-50 dating site with a lot of helpful features to facilitate friendships and relationships. (read more)
OurTime is a senior dating site with a lot of free and premium features to help singles connect online. The site allows free members to send favorites and photo likes, but only paid members can message one another. This keeps seniors safe from scammers and spammers. It's worth upgrading to a full OurTime membership package if you want to meet someone of a certain age and haven't had luck on general dating sites. The site highlights new members in your area and shows you when they're online, so you shouldn't have trouble making a live connection here. OurTime is part of the People Media portfolio, which means it has the experience and resources necessary to satisfy user expectations and create success in the online dating scene.   Since 2003, SeniorMatch has built its reputation as one of the world's leading senior dating sites. The site (read more)
Since 2003, SeniorMatch has catered to the over-50 dater who feels hesitant to try online dating but wants to find love again. The dating site's core message is "You don't have to be alone," and that's a huge comfort to a lot of lonely hearts out there. Registering an account and creating a profile is free on SeniorMatch, and it only takes a couple of minutes to get underway. You'll need to provide a valid email account to verify that you are who you say you are, but you don't have to disclose your real name, your address, or any private information beyond basic demographics. SeniorMatch has over 1 million members to its name, and it boasts sparking over 1.6 million conversations every month. You can read our SeniorMatch feature article to learn more about what this site has to offer you. Best LGBT Local Dating Sites & AppsSometimes the mainstream dating scene just isn't working for LGBTQ+ singles, so they have to seek niche communities where they feel comfortable being themselves and building relationships. Thankfully, there are a rainbow of options available for gay, lesbian, bi, trans, and other LGBTQ+ singles looking to meet people. Here are our top four dating sites and apps for queer singles, non-binary daters, same-sex couples, and more.   Since 1996, MenNation has connected over 93 million men around the globe. This men-only dating site measures (read more)
MenNation is the go-to hangout for horny gay guys on the lookout for a hookup. The site boasts having millions of active members, and it is open 24/7 for your flirting pleasure. Gay singles and gay couples can create free accounts on MenNation. The only requirement is that you must be over 18 years old, and you must be interested in dating dudes. Beyond that, it's anything goes on this dynamic hookup site.   LesbianPersonals.com is powered by Friend Finder Networks, so it encompasses a vast network of sexually active (read more)
LesbianPersonals empowers women to pursue their pleasure in the bedroom and find partners who satisfy their needs. The dating site is geared toward casual, no-strings-attached romances, including threesomes and orgies. The LesbianPersonals site attracts sexy people of all stripes — from outgoing lesbian singles to adventurous straight couples — and there's always room for experimentation and exploration here. Whether you're testing the waters online or living your fantasies offline, your sexual awakening can begin with a LesbianPersonals profile.   HER is a women-only (or "womxn" as the team says) dating app that helps cis, trans, and non-binary identified (read more)
Over 4 million womxn have joined the HER network and created profiles on this community-driven dating app. When you join HER, you become part of a social experience like no other, and you can comment on posts, like pictures, or RSVP to local queer events to meet lovely ladies who share similar interests and perspectives. HER is a womxn-only space, which means it only accepts lesbian, bisexual, queer, questioning, and trans womxn — absolutely no men allowed. HER is also a no-drama and no-judgments zone, and the moderators encourage womxn to be supportive and have fun on the app. You'll have to be bold and put yourself out there if you want to become the next #WeMetOnHER success story, but getting in a truly lasting relationship can be so worth it.   Grindr became the world's first gay geosocial app in 2009, and it continues growing its all-male user base (read more)
Grindr is the original location-based app. Like a trendsetting gay icon, Grindr showed up on the scene in 2009, and then a few years later the mainstream caught on and appropriated its moves. We'll always know which came first, though. Grindr is ostensibly for relationships and hookups, but, to be honest, we hear it's mostly just hookups these days. On Grindr, relationships that make it seem to be the exception, while the rule is that guys get freaky together one night and then ghost the next day. "Grindr males are more likely to stay anonymous on their profiles," according to a Cornell-funded analysis. "They want to efficiently show they can immediately have uncommitted sex with a stranger. This is also done by showing body pictures with their abs on display." Best Local Hookup Sites & AppsLook, not all singles are interested in playing the long game and waiting around for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect to come along. Some singles would rather skip all that mushy stuff and go right to the sexy part of a romance. Casual dating has become fairly common, and that's partly thanks to dating sites and apps, which give singles tons of options and free rein to explore. We've picked out a few hookup sites that specifically support a hookup culture and encourage singles to get laid.   BeNaughty invites singles to walk on the wild side and explore their sexuality in a fun, free-wheeling (read more)
BeNaughty is a fast-paced, free-wheeling, and judgment-free hookup site designed for adults only. Its personals ads can get locals wooing and romancing in no time. Local singles sign up for BeNaughty looking for sexual encounters, and the private messaging and search filters help them mix things up and meet someone who's their type. Unlike other dating sites, BeNaughty doesn't require users to browse under their first names — instead, new members choose a unique username — so locals can go undercover and anonymously browse a sex-driven dating scene.   In 1996, Friend Finder Networks began harnessing the power of online networking to help adults meet sexually (read more)
AdultFriendFinder is a well-known adult dating site designed to satisfy lustful singles and swingers around the world. From the sex personals to the nude chat cam, the AFF site is full of erotic content. This arousing atmosphere is ideal for anonymous daters looking to explore their sexuality and find playmates with similar fantasies and fetishes. Since launching in 1997, AdultFriendFinder has stimulated over 170,000 groups and more than 14 million group discussions about pretty much every topic in and out of the bedroom.   FriendFinder-X specializes in delivering hot dates to your inbox. For the last 20+ years, this hookup site has (read more)
FriendFinder-X is a local hookup site where men, women, couples, and groups can go after what they want. You account is completely anonymous so there's no shame in the search for sex. FriendFinder-X members often level with each other and state outright what type of sexual encounter they want. By taking the guessing games out of online dating, FriendFinder-X has liberated sexually active daters around the world. Now anyone over 18 can find a discreet date or hot hookup in just a few clicks. As the site itself says, "FriendFinder-X isn't just a site; it's a community of people looking to add a little more passion into their lives." What Dating Site is Completely Free?The average single person spends about $146 a month on dating costs and about $43 per date. That's a big chunk of change, so it makes sense to save your cash by joining a completely free no-subscription-required dating site or app. OkCupid is our favorite free dating site because it offers unlimited chatting for free and has a time-tested matching system that we know works in real life.  Since 2004, OkCupid has set itself apart by turning online matchmaking into a numbers game. The dating site (read more)
If OkCupid doesn't sound like it's for you, don't worry — there are a lot of free dating sites out there to choose from. What is the Best Free Hookup App?Sex is a high priority for many singles with high libidos, and they shouldn't have to pay for the privilege of meeting sexy dates. BeNaughty is a free hookup app with a lot of chat, search, and matching options for fast daters. Its global network can facilitate online flirtations and offline hookups if you play your cards right.  When it comes to arranging hookups, BeNaughty is fast, easy, fun, and safe. This dating site has built a (read more)
As a local sex tool, BeNaughty has just about everything you could ask for. The platform offers a straightforward way to connect with singles who are all interested in the same thing — getting laid. What is the Best Alternative to Craigslist Personals?Many hearts were broken in 2018 when Craigslist closed its personal section in response to pressure from the federal government. It was a case of a few bad apples spoiling things for everyone else. The site worried about being held accountable for the criminal activities (i.e. prostitution and human trafficking) conducted by its members. "We can't take such risk without jeopardizing all our other services," the Craigslist team said. Fortunately, many sex-oriented dating platforms has risen to the challenge of replacing Craiglist. Among them is AdultFriendFinder.  Registering for an account on Adult Friend Finder (AFF) is like speeding into the fast lane of the online (read more)
The AFF community has been around about as long as Craigslist (1997 for AFF and 1995 for Craigslist), and the hookup site has millions of singles and swingers personals in its database. What App is Better Than Tinder?Tinder rocked the online dating world when it came online in 2012, but it isn't the only option out there for singles seeking romance. Far from it. There are over 2,500 dating services in the U.S. alone, and plenty of them do a bang up job at introducing compatible local dates. Match is definitely one of the good ones. Since 1995, Match has been considered one of the top names in online dating, and it is responsible for more relationships and marriages than Tinder.  Since 1995, Match has made a name for itself as one of the most successful dating platforms in the world. The (read more)
Match has a swiping function in place — in the Discover section — but it also has search tools to help singles find dates according to their own standards and desires. Is Bumble a Hookup App?No, Bumble is not typically used by casual daters seeking one-night stands. It's a dating app for singles who are serious about making a real connection. Fewer than 1% of women on Bumble are interested in a hookup, and 85% of all users say they want to be in a long-term relationship or marriage.  Bumble has embraced its role as the world's feminist dating app. The app launched in 2014 with the unique (read more)
Bumble is a quality-driven app focused on inspiring real relationships, not meaningless hookups. "Bumble is more for dating," said a Reddit user in a thread. "Since the woman has to talk first, I guess you could say it prevents straight-up hookup messages from guys." Love is Around the Corner on a Local Dating AppMany modern daters choose local dating sites and apps to be their wingman in the dating scene, and they get the fastest results by swiping through local matches and searching for local dates. The dating platforms on this list can help singles turn their love lives around. Their match algorithms point you in the right direction and introduce you to people with real relationship potential. At the end of the day, local dating resources give all singles a more convenient and affordable way to flirt, date, and connect. No travel arrangements required. Thanks to local dating sites and apps, a whirlwind romance could be closer than you think. Good luck! |
| Best Christian Dating Apps of 2019 - DatingNews Posted: 23 Oct 2019 12:00 AM PDT One of my guy friends surprised me one day by asking "What's the best Christian dating app?" He's a Catholic single, and he said he was tired of going on blind dates, speed dates, and online dates with single women who didn't share his values. He was ready to start specializing, but he didn't know where to begin. My friend is a high-achieving, career-oriented doctor who has never had trouble acing a class, yet he needed a little tutoring to make the grade in the dating scene. I can easily peel off the names of a few Christian dating services. However, singles should know what they're getting into before signing up, so our dating experts have done their homework and created this master list of Christian dating apps for singles, like my friend, who want to build a relationship based on shared faith. Best Overall Christian Dating AppsThere are over 8,000 dating sites in the world, and no one has time to try them all. No one except our dating experts, that is. We've spent countless hours scouring the online dating scene to find the best of the best in terms of features, membership, pricing, and success rates. Below, we've ranked a few of our top choices for Christian singles seeking Christian dates and relationships. If you trust these dating sites and apps with your love life, your faith will be rewarded with a lot of matches and chats.  Match.com can assist Christian men and women seeking a partner in life and in faith. This time-tested dating (read more)
Match has earned the trust of millions of singles, including more than a few Christians, because it has been around longer than any other dating site or app. Since April 1995, Match has fulfilled the dating hopes and dreams of singles from all backgrounds, and it continues to set high standards in the dating industry. Over the years, Match has perfected its match algorithm to prioritize the things that are most important to its members — age, location, hobbies, education, and religion. The dating app recommends up to seven daily matches and also has advanced search filters so singles can find that special someone on their own. "On the very day I was going to hide my profile I received the message that changed my life," said one Match member in a success story. A Match membership can be life-changing, so create your free profile today to give it a try.  ChristianMingle is among the most recognizable names in the Christian dating scene. Its faithful community (read more)
ChristianMingle is an obvious choice for the number two spot on this list of the best Christian dating apps. The brand's very name is a testament to its commitment to the Christian community. Sparks Network — which is responsible for JDate and Adventist singles, among others — launched ChristianMingle in 2001 to be a beacon of light for Christians searching for a lasting marriage. The ChristianMingle app came around in 2014, and the rest is history. Today, ChristianMingle has over 16 million profiles in its global network, and it sees over 3.5 million visitors per month. Singles of all Christian denominations are welcome here, and even singles who aren't Christian but are open to converting can create a profile and see what's out there.  EliteSingles provides a loving support system for Christian singles in search of a soul mate. The dating (read more)
EliteSingles is a high-end dating platform designed to connect single professionals seeking serious relationships. This easy-to-use site and app recommends high-quality matches based on your dating preferences. You can set high standards for your date prospects by selecting the ideal age, height, distance, education, income, drinking habits, smoking habits, ethnicity, and, of course, religion for your partner. EliteSingles also gives you the option to say how important each criterion is to you. If you mark being a Christian as very important, then EliteSingles will only recommend the dating profiles of true believers. Over 90% of EliteSingles members say they want to get in a relationship, so it should be easy to build something solid on this common ground.  Zoosk has over 40 million active users, and about 300,000 of them identify as Christian on their dating (read more)
With over 40 million members to its name, Zoosk has a massive following all around the world, and it continues growing each and every day. Zoosk was actually one of the first dating sites to offer a companion dating app, and its high-tech approach to the online world has consistently impressed and intrigued singles in the mood to mingle. Zoosk's fast matching system relies heavily on behavioral matchmaking — that means it learns what you like by observing who you like. Every time you view, like, favorite, or message a dating profile, the dating app will take note of it and immediately start recommending similar profiles in the Carousel and SmartPick sections. If you seem drawn to Christian profiles, the app will make sure its most popular Christian members are always at the top of your feed.  Christian singles can receive valuable guidance from eharmony, the premier dating site for marriage-minded men (read more)
A Christian theologian and psychologist named Dr. Neil Clark Warren founded eharmony in 2000 because he wanted to strengthen the institution of marriage in the U.S. and abroad. Since then, eharmony has been an upstanding, relationship-driven force in the dating scene. The site began offering a free app in 2010, thus keeping singles in constant contact with their love matches. The eharmony matchmaking system is truly a wonder to behold. It digs deep into personality quirks, lifestyle choices, and daily habits to ascertain who's right for each other. You can see a clear compatibility rating on eharmony profiles, and you'll even get a thorough breakdown of how you stack up in terms of intelligence, social values, conscientious, religious values, and other important criteria. Throughout the years, eharmony's in-depth approach to love has led to many heartwarming success stories.  BlackPeopleMeet was designed to help black and biracial singles find their type as quickly as possible, and (read more)
Since 2002, BlackPeopleMeet has become one of the most popular online dating service for black and biracial singles throughout North America. The dating platform caters to the African-American community, and about 87% of African-Americans identify as Christian, so it's safe to say religion will factor pretty heavily in these matches. I have met my knight in shining armor," said a Georgian single woman in a BlackPeopleMeet success story. "I'm thankful to God for allowing me to meet my husband-to-be. He's an awesome man of God." Best Senior Christian Dating AppsWhen singles reach their 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond, they can feel out of touch with the mainstream dating scene which is dominated by a younger crowd. In fact, about 75% of online daters are under 30, but more and more seniors have begun embracing online dating as a way of connecting and finding fulfillment. If you want to find a Christian date who's 50 or older, then you should start your search on a senior-friendly dating app. Here are a couple we like:  As a top senior dating site, SilverSingles is a fantastic resource for Christians who are over the age of 50. (read more)
SilverSingles has been a tremendously positive force in the senior dating scene, and its success is largely thanks to its exclusive over-50 network. The app specializes in introducing age-appropriate dates, and the moderators remove profiles that do not meet its standards. Online dating safety is a top concern for SilverSingles, and the platform takes its security very seriously. It employs a team of agents to verify every new profile and remove any fraudulent accounts before they can contact authentic members. SilverSingles users can also report and block anyone bothering them online, ensuring they have a good experience form start to finish.  OurTime is a Christian-friendly dating site where singles can search, match, and meet within a few clicks. The (read more)
Tens of thousands of singles have joined OurTime in hopes of finding friendship, romance, and love in their golden years. Some OurTime members are widowers seeking a new beginning, and others are retirees interested in a little excitement. Whatever the reason for joining, OurTime provides a safe, friendly, and straightforward dating experience. This platform is tailor-made for seniors, so it doesn't take much technical knowledge to get the hang of how the registration process and matchmaking system work. "I'm very happy to say I met the love of my life," said a former OurTime user in a Google Play review. "Soon to be engaged and married. Thank you!" Best LGBT Christian Dating AppsChristian acceptance for same-sex couples and LGBTQ+ singles has risen dramatically in the last decade or so, and it's no longer so taboo for someone to be both openly gay and Christian. "My sexuality is a gift from God," wrote one gay man in a letter to Chick-fil-A. "I believe that he intends for me to rejoice in that." For Christian singles eager to do some rejoicing on a dating app, we recommend the following gay-friendly spaces.  Grindr accepts singles of all religious backgrounds, and it has more than a few gay Christians browsing the (read more)
Grindr is one of the most popular gay dating apps in the world. The app has a reputation for serving the hookup crowd, but it is actually a decent place to find something more serious as well. "It really took the guesswork out of looking for a potential mate, so that was really powerful," said Cohen Simpson, a 24-year-old who met his boyfriend on Grindr. Grindr uses an efficient location-based matching system, so singles can meet guys who are in the area and looking for an instant connection. You can create your profile, swipe through matches, and send messages for free, so there's no harm in looking around Grindr and seeing if it's right for you.  HER is a mobile app where lesbian, bisexual, bicurious, trans, and queer womxn can mingle freely. This growing (read more)
Womxn of all races and religious denominations can come together on HER and enjoy mingling in an all-female community. The dating app caters to lesbian, bisexual, and queer womxn who are tired of being propositioned by men and want to find a true partner in life and love. HER has attracted over 4 million signups so far, and it is constantly growing its reach in the LGBTQ+ dating scene. Its loving success stories are inspirational examples of what the dating app can do for womxn. Whether you're commenting on a photo, posting a status, or RSVPing to am event, you can get involved in the local queer society and pick up dates who share your sensibilities, values, and goals. Best Free Christian Dating AppsDating has become so expensive that 30% of millennials say dating isn't in their budget. They have to save up their cash before spending it on dinners, movies, and ticketed events — and a free dating app can be a valuable solution to these budgeting woes. Instead of shelling out cash to chat on a premium site, we suggest budget-conscious take a spin around the following free platforms, all of which offer 100% free matching and messaging.  OkCupid operates under the motto "Dating deserves better," and it promises Christians an interesting and (read more)
OkCupid is one of our favorite free dating apps because it gives singles a lot of excellent features for no cost whatsoever. When four Harvard math majors launched the original OkCupid dating site in 2004, they made a commitment to be forever free to all users — and they haven't wavered from that, even though the brand has since changed hands. From the moment you join OkCupid, you'll have a lot of personality-driven matching tools at your fingertips. First of all, you can fill out a variety of interesting profile sections (prompts include "Five things I couldn't live without" and "What I'm doing with my life ") and then add photos that speak to your interests. You can also answer personal questions, which cover everything from religion to drinking habits, to help OkCupid identify who's right for you. "Be authentic," the OkCupid team advises. "Don't be afraid to share things about yourself that are quirky, slightly embarrassing, or totally unique to you: they'll make great conversation starters!"  Tinder is one of the most popular dating platforms out there, facilitating more than 1 million dates a week (read more)
Tinder is a free dating app that has taken the online dating world by storm and created more than 30 billion matches worldwide. While it may seem superficial at first glance, Tinder's fast-acting swiping system is actually a powerful filtering mechanism that allows singles to control who shows up in their inboxes. Instead of allowing anyone to message anyone, Tinder puts its users in the driver's seat and gives them the ability to decide who's worthy of a mutual match. Christians can use Tinder to quickly scan the dating scene and see if anyone strikes their fancy. According to a recent survey, 37% of Tinder users said they got in an exclusive dating relationship with someone they met on the platform, only 18.6% reported having a one-night stand because of the app.  Plenty of Fish began in 2003 as a Canadian dating site, and it has since expanded its network to include (read more)
Thanks to its free communication tools, PlentyOfFish has attracted a global database of over 150 million users in 20 countries, and it sparks connections that may never have happened otherwise. The dating app never charges users a dime for its services. Throughout the day and night, PlentyOfFish is abuzz with activity, and it's easy to find someone to chat with and explore romantic possibilities on your own time — and within your budget. PlentyOfFish currently sees over 4 million views per day, facilitates over 1 billion conversations per month, and leads to countless real-life relationships. "Because of POF, I met the love of my life," said Courtney in a success story. "I have learned to love life, respect myself, and love myself more."  Bumble empowers Christian women to make the first move and send messages to the guys who spark their interest. (read more)
Bumble launched in 2014 as a feminist response to Tinder, and it has remained an independent and progressive icon for singles in search of a quality dating experience. The free app has made waves by making single women the deciders of the dating world and offering them the chance to strike up a conversation with their online crushes. Women have to make the first move in a match (unless it's a same-sex match), or the connection will disappear within 24 hours. Bumble is a values-driven dating app with high integrity, and its free services can help Christians build relationships based on mutual respect and admiration. What is the Best Christian Dating Site?This is an easy one. ChristianMingle is one of the best dating sites for Christians seeking God-centric relationships. The niche site claims to be responsible for more Christian marriages than all other dating sites. ChristianMingle is a faith-based dating site for singles who want a relationship grounded in Christian values. (read more)
ChristianMingle has won awards for its stellar services, and there's even been a movie called "Christian Mingle" about the site's romantic potential and Christian values. Are There Any Real Christian Dating Sites?Are you agnostic about the idea of a Christian dating site? Well, we bet sites like Christian Connection and Christian Cafe can make you a true believer. These award-winning, Christian-owned dating sites may be smaller than some of their competitors, but they have had a sizable impact on the lives of Christians around the world. Many Christians enjoy connecting in a Christian-only community because it saves them from having to do a lot of screening on their dates. Everyone shares similar values and beliefs, so they fall for each other that much faster. The best Christian dating sites put users first and promote good values in the online dating scene. If you're single and Christian, you can't afford to miss out on such empowering and enlightening resources. What Dating Sites are Free?We happen to believe the best dating apps are free because singles spend enough time and money looking for love. Free dating sites and apps offer a helping hand without forcing singles to invest their hard-earned cash in the process. After all, dating is a gamble, and not everyone can afford to take a risk on a paid dating subscription. OkCupid definitely stands out as one of the best free dating sites around. Not only does it offer totally free matching and chatting, but it also has a high-quality matchmaking algorithm guaranteed to get results. It's hard to resist such a high-value proposition. In 2004, OkCupid's founders decided to create a fool-proof formula for love, and they launched a free dating (read more)
OkCupid is our favorite free dating site, but many others can work just as well without costing members a thing. Free sites like Tinder, PlentyOfFish, and Hinge have created successful business models that don't require users to upgrade their accounts to make a love connection. Is Zoosk a Christian Dating Site?No, Zoosk isn't technically a Christian-only dating site — but that doesn't mean it's not a good place to meet Christians. The app has over 40 million users, and we're willing to bet a good majority of them are either Christian themselves or open to dating a Christian. Zoosk is a socially savvy dating site known for its diverse membership base and behavioral matchmaking system. (read more)
Zoosk has been around since 2007, and it has inspired a lively dating environment by giving singles many filters, tools, and options online. Proactive Christians can use this diverse network to land a date and get in a relationship. A Good Christian Dating App Could Be Your Saving GraceMy friend is definitely a great catch — good-looking, Catholic, and a doctor to boot. But he doesn't meet a lot of eligible women at the hospital where he works, so he has begun using online dating as a way of expanding his personal dating pool. I was happy to recommend some dating sites and apps where he could find his type (i.e. a good Christian woman) and hopefully make a lasting connection. Christian dating apps are excellent niche resources for singles who know what they want but are having difficulty finding it in their everyday routines. Instead of sticking to your own church or prayer circle, you can use a Christian app to explore the wider Christian community, meet authentic and principled singles, and restore your faith in love and marriage. Amen to that! |
| Free dating mandurah - Dating Agency. Best Dating Website. - Triangle A&E Posted: 30 Aug 2019 12:00 AM PDT @ The PNC Arena, November 3, 2019It looked like Slayer and their opening bands, Phil Anselmo & The Illegals, Ministry and Primus, did not have a huge draw at the PNC Arena this Sunday night. The house looked about a third full with many seats available. It was definitely a hard core trash and death metal night for sure with two of the openers plus Slayer. Photographers were allowed access to the pit, which is unusual at the PNC. It was stocked with security and pushed back at least 15 feet from the stage. We knew we had to watch our backs while taking pictures for the first three songs of each band because body surfing was expected. After the first band, we were escorted to the hallway in the back of the PNC to stage for the next band, Ministry because PA&TE had a short set. Thats when we knew moshing was going on. Not your typical fun, friendly body slamming. People were throwing elbows and trampling bystanders. Broken noses and bloody faces were being helped to the restrooms for treatment by EMS personnel. There was blood on the floor in the hallway while personnel tried to get patrons to go around it. Primus was the last and calmest opening band in the lineup with their funk metal and heavy bass rhythms. The calm before the storm? Last up was the four time Grammy nominated and twice winner for Best Metal Performance. The headliner, Slayer. The first black kabuki dropped just to reveal a second transparent one. Teasing the audience with the fluorescent backdrop art as lasers projected crosses against the front as they slowly invert. Smoke filled the stage as Slayer logos flashed and spun on the front curtain as the background curtain dropped. Coming out of the smoke were silhouettes of Tom Araya [lead vocals and bass], Kerry King [guitar] and Gary Holt [guitar] on stage [couldn't really see Paul Bostaph back on the raised drum kit]. The second kabuki was stuck. You could see the roadie pulling on it, but it wouldn't come down. Security helped out and down it came to music and pyro as we photographer are released, rushing into the pit. Missing the best fire picture because of the stuck curtain… But the crowd went wild and the band hit it hard with Repentless as their opener for the show. The show was loud and heavy with lots of fire [and probably blood in the moshpit] with one controversial hit song after another. The show you would expect for the Grammy winner. If you missed it, you missed them forever because the tour is wrapping up the end of this month [final tour dates as follows].  Current members •Kerry King – guitars (1981–present) •Tom Araya – bass, vocals (1981–present) •Paul Bostaph – drums (1992–1996, 1997–2001, 2013–present) •Gary Holt – guitars (2013–present; touring member 2011–2013)
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| Posted: 21 Nov 2019 02:00 AM PST  The person I love and I were among the first members of the public to see the new film "Queen & Slim." Early in September, we watched it alone on an upper floor of a nondescript office building in downtown San Francisco. It was a phenomenally isolating experience. We sat in a screening room accompanied by two affable white P.R. people and a black security guard who said nothing. The room was otherwise empty. It was 11 a.m. The film begins at an Ohio diner, where two unnamed characters are on a Tinder date. The woman, played by Jodie Turner-Smith, is noticeably prickly. She takes issue with the waitress, the food, the atmosphere; she scoffs at her date's decision to pray before eating. The man, played by Daniel Kaluuya, is generally unbothered, calmly dodging her barbs. He is patient about the waitress because he knows her troubles, having seen her in line at the Costco where he works. He chose the restaurant because it's black-owned. He enthusiastically devours the salad she orders but finds unappetizing. As they awkwardly pick their way through an underwhelming conversation, she reveals that she is a defense attorney and she's upset because the state decided that very day to execute a client of hers. "Was he innocent?" Kaluuya asks. "Does it matter?" she fires back. "The state shouldn't decide who lives or dies." In the car, they continue to spar, now with a little more playfulness. But just as we are beginning to see the romantic turn we have been trained to expect from movies, red and blue lights appear through the rear window. The man has changed lanes without signaling, and now they are being pulled over on a cold Cleveland night. Things very rapidly go down a dark path. The officer sees this couple entirely differently than we do. To us, Kaluuya prays over food, defends a waitress, is kind and patient. To the officer, he is a dark-skinned black man at night, one who isn't showing the expected amount of deference. When Kaluuya asks if they can hurry up because he is cold, the officer loses it, pulls a gun, orders him on his knees. Turner-Smith gets out of the car, demanding a badge number. What happens next is a worst-case scenario in which she ends up with a bullet wound in her leg, the officer ends up lying dead in the snow and the two end up fugitives from justice. Kaluuya thinks they should turn themselves in. "The second you confess, you become property of the state," Turner-Smith tells him. "Is that what you want?" What began as a first date becomes an odyssey, in the Homeric sense. The two of them — Queen and Slim in the title, though they're never actually called that in the film — try to travel thousands of miles to what they hope is freedom, meeting along the way a phalanx of regular black folks who help them, or disapprove of them, or pin their deepest spiritual hopes on them, all changing the way they understand themselves, each other and their lives. Black people protect them in bars, give them rides, stash them in bedrooms, play music for them in juke joints. In New Orleans, they stay with a relative played by Bokeem Woodbine: Queen's Uncle Earl, a war veteran and an aging underworld figure whose only remaining power lies in the feeble dominion he holds over the house he shares with some women he may or may not be pimping. One of the women, played by Indya Moore, helps Queen remove her box braids so she'll be less recognizable. The camera lingers on them in the intimate act of hairdressing; cool light fills the room. Queen breathes slowly, feeling protected for maybe the first time in the film. But the feeling of safety vanishes when a violent fight breaks out between Earl and one of the other women. The asylum these people have, in the world and even with one another, is always momentary. When the police come to check on the disturbance, Queen and Slim must bolt again, wearing whatever clothes they can grab from the house — a velour tracksuit for him, a tiger-striped minidress for her. They are no longer an attorney and a devout Christian. In some eyes, these outfits will make them beautiful, larger than life; in others, they will make them invisible, the kind of black people we are trained to look right through. Video footage of their police confrontation, meanwhile, has gone viral, and their nightmare is made into a national cause. A photo of them, taken by an adoring kid, makes its way onto T-shirts and murals. In the media they become everything people want to make them into: black power, black revenge, black violence. None of it keeps them from being alone. A white couple hides them in a dark chamber beneath a bedroom floor, where they stay for hours, cramped and hidden, like passengers on an underground railroad, cargo packed in the dark hold of a ship. Slavery is never far from them. The choice between being free and becoming the state's property began long before they became fugitives from the law. They drive through the American South, passing a prison work farm, chasing a freedom that is always farther ahead of them than death is behind them. Image  Their task, then, is to learn how to live a life, a full and loving life, wedged in the narrow space between captivity and death — a spiritual state of being that many black people in America understand in our souls, because those circumstances lie in wait around every corner and have for centuries. I would say the film unfolded before us, but by the time it was over, it felt more accurate to say it had happened to us. We had no defense against its onslaught of fear, pain, hope, love, tragedy. When we left the screening room, we went to separate bathrooms to compose ourselves. I put my sunglasses on because I was bawling, my whole torso heaving. Two weeks earlier, I took a risk on some dicey food from the back of my fridge and rapidly wound up on my knees, racked and convulsing in a way that I hadn't in years. Now, alone in the cold tile bathroom of a San Francisco office building after a film screening, I found myself in a nearly shot-for-shot remake of that experience. I felt the same way I had while submitting to illness: unable to keep a grip on the arbitrary state of normalcy, of not being in tears all the time. I needed to compose myself. I was, after all, at work. It felt like both an impossible task and an unfair one. How was I supposed to see what I had just seen and then go make professional small talk with the friendly young P.R. people who arranged the screening? They were white, and though they had seen what we just saw, we could not be sure that they had felt what we just felt. Outside, the two of us wandered in a daze through the financial district until we found a place to sit down and breathe, on a curb in the courtyard of an office building. We could not talk, really. We smoked cigarettes and watched a man in a bright blue logoed polo shirt packing up the small tables people had been sitting at and sweeping up the trash they left behind, a black man laboring in an overwhelmingly white part of a mainly white city. We watched how people ignored him, a thing we may have noticed even more deeply because we felt invisible, too. We were carrying this movie with us. Everything the story meant. Everything it felt like. To be in love and to have that love so close to death. To be hated, hunted and afraid, to need to be fearless in order to survive. To know that loving someone, truly loving someone, means holding them while everything around you is falling — even pieces of you are falling — into an abyss. To know that nothing else can matter besides that kind of love. Surrounded by white people with badges on lanyards, button-up shirts and slacks, eating takeaway salads from plastic clamshells, we felt, together, so utterly alone. Lately I have come to the conclusion, and you may disagree, that pretty much every experience we have moves us either toward life or away from it. There are some things that suck the life out of you, that make you feel smaller and less human, that alienate you from yourself; they calcify your fear and carve a monument out of your emptiness. Then there are those that bring you closer to life, that grow in you the desire to create, to nurture, to see beautiful things and become them. This is the love that increases your attachment to people and animals, makes you smile at children or go outside to see the moon. Every experience is either life-affirming or life-denying. There is just one trick. It sometimes happens that to move toward love — true, active, life-affirming love — means to move toward death. During the summer of 2018, I attended a protest. A black 18-year-old, Nia Wilson, had been killed in an attack on a BART-train platform in my hometown, Oakland. She had gotten off a train with her sisters when a white man charged at them with a knife and cut her throat. Many people feared the attack was racially motivated; there was a rumored gathering of the neofascist group the Proud Boys scheduled in the city that afternoon. A protest that had been planned in response quickly morphed into a vigil for Nia. The gathering was markedly different from the climate marches and large-scale national rallies I had been to. This one was small. It was local. It was led by black people — not just black people but black folks, regular folks, not public figures or activist stars. It was as much an expression of grief as one of anger, though there was plenty of anger, too. I joined the group near the BART station where Nia was killed, and we marched downtown, stopping to rally where my son's school meets with the gentrifying bars and ramen shops. Violence erupted in the back of the crowd when some white guys thought it would be a good idea to yell "White Lives Matter" at the crowd while Nia's classmate was crying on the makeshift stage organizers had arranged on the back of a pickup. The response was quick and complete, a controlled unleashing of rage, mostly by men who knew enough about street life to finish the beat-down almost as soon as it began. Later I ran into a friend with a history of direct action and asked her if she had participated in the violence. "No," she said gravely, quietly. "I'm here to witness." To witness was in fact one reason I was there. Cementing something in memory is one way of cementing it in the world. But I had another reason for going, too. My daughter was 12 on the day of Nia's murder. She caught the train to school from the same BART station where Nia was killed. She called me that day in a panic, terrified and bereft and full of questions that I could not answer. Why did this happen to Nia? Why did this happen to black women? Why wouldn't this happen to her? I had no answers. I could do only what parents do: promise to protect my child. So I told her that I would go into the streets — that hundreds, maybe thousands of us would go into the streets, and that we would be doing it for her. We would be doing it to show her that we would not let this happen. It was tremendously important to me that my daughter stay home that evening, safe in her room, in her pajamas and slippers, watching Netflix, eating Flamin' Hot Cheetos, texting with friends while we put our flesh on the hot downtown asphalt. No child should have to protect herself. It is our job to protect one another. And this is why I protested — not to make noise, or make change, but in order for the person who could not, should not be in the streets to see me, to see us all, as proof that she is not alone in caring for her life. To attend that protest was an act of love, an experience that brought me closer to life. But it was set against a backdrop of death. For black people, Lena Waithe told me, death is always present. We were sitting in her home in Los Angeles, discussing her screenplay for "Queen & Slim." "Black death is very interesting in that it is devastating, but at the same time, it illuminates us," she said. She named Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, Emmett Till, Fred Hampton and Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr., Tupac Shakur and Nipsey Hussle — black figures whose deaths turned them into symbols, added tragic weight to their legacies. "Four little black girls minding their own business playing in the basement of a church shook the world," she said, referring to the 1963 bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Ala. "You don't want those little black girls to die, because who would want that? But if they didn't, would we be as free as we are right now? There are so many sacrificial lambs in our past. It's almost like black death is necessary to set us free. And I grapple with that. All the time. That's why I think I had to write this." When I asked the director, Melina Matsoukas, if she thought "Queen & Slim" was a hopeful story, she replied almost immediately: "It's a black story." Rather than a dodge, this felt like a complete answer. In blackness, hope is often complicated by the intrusion of death, bloodshed, depression, incarceration, grief, brutality. You cannot — for the good of your family, your kids, your loved ones, yourself — keep your face fully toward the sun when you know the darkness is chasing you. In "Queen & Slim," all good things are fleeting, and all love is set against bloodletting. The characters would like it to be otherwise, but they do not have a say. "I wanted you just to look at them like: Huh, that's me. That's my mother, that's my brother, that's my sister, that's my cousin," Waithe told me. "I want you to live with them, I want you to be scared with them. I want you to fall in love with them." The idea that we are supposed to identify with the characters on a screen is not new, but the idea that we — black people — are supposed to identify might still be. "White directors have been speaking their language for decades," Waithe said. "We have to learn it, we have to find ourselves in that narrative." For Waithe, who grew up on the South Side of Chicago, finding herself in that narrative meant studying television made by people like Aaron Sorkin and the creators of "Friends," David Crane and Marta Kauffman. After years acting and writing in Los Angeles, she became the first black woman ever to win a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, for an episode of Aziz Ansari's "Master of None" loosely based on her own experience of coming out to her mother. That episode was directed by Matsoukas, a woman of mixed heritage — Jamaican, Cuban, Jewish and Greek — who had spent a decade directing music videos for stars including Lady Gaga and Rihanna. (Her memorable video for Beyoncé's "Formation," with its stylistic mixture of documentary and fantasy, arrived at the height of Black Lives Matter and, to many, deftly synthesized the visual power of the movement; its look echoes in "Queen & Slim.") Matsoukas describes the film as not just about black love onscreen but also about the sisterly love of the two women who came together to make it. "We can be a power," she told me of the faith she has in her artistic relationship with Waithe. "Trust is really important," she said. "Probably the only way I survive." "Queen & Slim" holds its cinematic influences for all to see. It is tempting to compare it to both "Bonnie & Clyde" and "Thelma & Louise," as the title's syntax seems to invite. Visually, Matsoukas says that she was inspired by "Belly," another cinematic debut by a music-video director turned filmmaker, Hype Williams — its gritty, ever-moving camera, its flashes of light and color. And Waithe lists among her influences films like "Set It Off" and "Love Jones," both part of a 1990s wave that had dozens of black filmmakers telling stories that felt unaffected by the white gaze — the same movies that my cousins and I watched over and over on lazy summer days, memorizing every line, partly because they were about us and partly because there were so few of them. It would appear that we are in the midst of another such moment in black film. When Barry Jenkins's "Moonlight" won the Best Picture Oscar in 2017, it seemed to mark the complete arrival of a new wave of films telling emotionally complex black stories: Ava DuVernay's "Selma" bringing striking intimacy to what could have been another "great man" biopic, Ryan Coogler's "Fruitvale Station" patiently watching quiet moments in the life of a young black man before he becomes a hashtag, Jenkins's "If Beale Street Could Talk" lingering and meditating on black beauty. These may be the films a new generation of young black people watches over and over, looking for a way to understand and name their experience. But of that '90s wave, it's "Love Jones" that is a particularly clear antecedent to the romantic purity of Waithe and Matsoukas's story — so much so that it's referenced in both the script and the soundtrack for "Queen & Slim." It is a straightforward love story about two young artists in Chicago's black poetry scene. When they are finally reunited after a year apart, on a rainy street, in a setting taken directly from the great romances of the 1940s, she asks why he's so urgent about everything. His answer is a line I think about often. "I love you," he responds. "That's urgent like a mother" — here he uses a perfect but unprintable word for emphasis. The exigency of his love, the blackness of his phrasing: Together, they are simply beautiful to me. I have never stopped gaining new understanding of what, exactly, those two things mean when they are together. Maybe it sticks with me because it was one of the first times I learned that in American cinema, it was possible to be both fully black and fully consumed in love. When I first met the person I love, it was not on a date; it was because mutual friends thought we might have something to talk about. She was, that summer, in the midst experiencing the death of her father in her home. I nursed my own mother to her death in my arms almost 10 years earlier. When we talked about these things, we were honest and unafraid: We had each seen the worst, so what was there to fear? She no longer cared, she said, about anything but connecting with people she could trust; that was all that mattered. For nearly a year and a half before this, I had been taking a break from serious dating. I was trying to understand my own history of disastrous relationships and see where I had gone wrong. I had tried to please impossible people, hidden parts of myself from others, agreed to things I didn't want — all because I was afraid, deathly afraid, of the pain of being hurt. I had filled my life with people who themselves were desperately terrified of being deeply seen. But love is seeing. And something about this new person's certainty about that fact, her unwillingness to lie about who she was or what she wanted, reached me, at a time when I was fiercely nurturing the same quality in myself. And I found that much of the fear I was so used to was gone; I had nothing to pretend, nothing to hide. Still, sometimes, when I catch myself falling into old habits of fear, I think not about my old relationships or lessons learned but about the look on my mother's face in her last moments. It was a look I had never seen on her, a quiet combination of surprise and resignation. And I remember that the time we spend here with one another is, in fact, urgent, because it is only a flicker, and in the end we all lose everything. So why be afraid? The price of admission for such a simple act of presence with another person was the intimate knowledge of suffering, pain, mortality. Even when it's not a nation's violence that's threatening you, even when you are not running for your freedom, you may still learn: The price of love is nothing short of death. One resounding image of "Queen & Slim" is that photograph of the couple, now fugitives, taken by a young admirer. They are on the hood of a car they've borrowed from Uncle Earl, wearing the clothes they got from the New Orleans underworld. Slim looks at the camera, daring you to see him, resplendent in the velour of his misfit tracksuit. Queen looks at him, her legs bending awkwardly in snakeskin boots, perhaps seeing her love for him for the first time. The image is a record that they were here. That they lived. No matter what happens to them — no matter how the world paints them, vilifies them, maims them — they were here, and at least for a moment, they owned their own lives. What makes this a black movie is not just that it's about black people or that it was made by black people. It is a black movie because it is first and foremost about loving black people, loving us in every way and however we are — when we are angry, when we are frightened, when we are kind and when we are hurting. It is easy to love us when we are dead, our emotions suspended in history like a bug trapped in amber. This film loves us when we are alive. And that is a love that our country denies us, seemingly compulsively. When we are making culture or sports or funny memes we are embraced, but when we are hurt or grieving, angry or frightened, we are out of line. "Queen & Slim" loves us simply by seeing black people in our completeness. One of the most potent aspects of the relationship between its two leads is that he never asks her to change herself. When she is prickly, when she is aggressive, when she is reticent, when she is open, when she is distant, he does not police or lecture her. He allows her anger, makes space for her hurt. Isn't this what love is? To see a person clearly, honestly, and to be willing to bend yourself toward that person? But to quote a song by the Ghanaian Highlife legend Ebo Taylor, "Love and death walk/Hand in hand." It is no accident that the first time the characters in this film consummate their passions, it is intercut with images of a protest where blood is spilled in their names. Black joy is fleeting, and all peace is stolen, for a time, from the ceaseless encroachment of brutality. "I'm not a criminal," Slim tells Queen when she first advises him to run. "You are now," she rebuts. This is what they are living against together, a world that wants everything from black people except our truth. And so it is also an act of love to make yourself beautiful and vulnerable, enchanting and free, to steal back your soul. It's when Queen and Slim are on the run that they find they can do anything — challenging each other to stop and dance, to ride a horse, to hang from a car window, to be purely alive. The second time I saw the film, it was an entirely different scene from that first screening. It was a star-studded event at Los Angeles's black-owned Underground Museum in October. Outside the door was everything you'd expect from a Los Angeles screening: people trying to get in, harried checking of guest lists, a parade of S.U.V.s and luxury cars. We watched the movie in the courtyard behind the museum with what seemed like all of the city's beautiful black people, a sea of bold hats, custom-made jackets, tall and ostentatious boots. Solange Knowles gave an introduction. I was standing in the back, thinking this looked just like a brunch scene from the HBO series "Insecure," when Y'lan Noel — who plays Daniel King on that show — politely asked me to move so he could find his way to a seat. The crowd handily overran the number of chairs set out, and I joined an overflow contingent sitting on blankets hastily laid near the screen. Just before the film began, a D.J. was spinning a set of classic hip-hop and R.&B. hits. As the lights dimmed and the music faded, we were in the middle of Anita Baker's "Caught Up in the Rapture," a song that — just like "Love Jones" and "Set It Off" — my family played so often that its words live permanently in my soul. "We stand side by side/Till the storms of life pass us by," Baker sings in her shimmering contralto. "I want you in my life for all time." Even after the lights had gone dark and the song vanished, a woman behind me kept on singing the lyrics, just loud enough for those around her to hear; for a moment, her voice was the only sound among us. From my spot in front, I could look back and watch everyone else watch the movie. I was struck, as the film progressed, by the way the people in the audience transformed from celebrities and Hollywood types to something not unlike children at a firefly-filled summer-camp movie night. They were gasping along with the characters, laughing raucously, booing and hissing at bad guys, yelling out at the screen. In their faces I saw the film that had devastated me when we were alone become a shared story, exquisite entertainment, when we were together. When a police helicopter passed overhead, a stunningly regular occurrence in Los Angeles, we simply looked up and then back to the screen. Assembling a crowd of black people, making them forget their jobs and their celebrity, making them laugh and weep and hiss and sing aloud the words of their mothers' favorite songs — this is a form of love. So is making a film alongside someone you trust so deeply that you can pull the work from your soul. In this movie, "we see ourselves," Waithe told me at one point. "It's like eating food from your childhood. I kept trying to find cereal on a Saturday morning, your grandmother's cornbread." This film is a love story — a story about seeing and paying attention to love, to blackness, to our moments even as they are slipping away. One of the film's most remarkable sequences takes place in a juke joint on the road to Georgia where the couple have paused their running. In the middle of the dance floor, as the music plays, they hold on to each other in a slow, swaying pose that could be either dancing or weeping in each other's arms. The camera lingers not only on them but also on the old folks around them, laughing and drinking and nodding in time to the music, giving us persistent looks into black faces, looks that are both intimate and infinite. "I want a guy ... to show me scars I never knew I had," we hear Queen say, in a voice-over. "But I don't want him to make them go away," she continues. "I want him to cherish the bruises they leave behind." "Someone that's gonna hold my hand and never let it go," Slim later replies. "She gotta be special though, 'cause she gonna be my legacy." This is the spiritual center of the film. In this exchange love is presented against wounds and against time. That they are running both away from and into all these things is exactly the point. If you allow it to be, "Queen & Slim" can be one of the great love stories of all time. Which means it should be for everyone to see. We all watch and have watched for the entirety of our lives movies about loving white people. Why shouldn't everyone else do the same for us? |
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