Woman Who Doesn't Want Friend's Fiancée to Join Vacation Divides Internet - Newsweek
A woman divided online commenters after sharing in a now-viral post that she doesn't want her friend's fiancée to join them on vacation.
Posting in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum last week under the username u/sourcandy78, the woman asked: "AITA for suggesting my friend's fiancée not come on vacation after she said I make her uncomfortable?"
The post has garnered more than 9,000 upvotes and over 1,800 comments from Redditors who can't seem to agree on whether or not the woman was wrong to suggest her friend's fiancée not join their vacation.
In her post, u/sourcandy78 explained that her friend happens to be her ex-boyfriend. Once her friend's fiancée found out that the two used to date, however, the fiancée made it clear that she wants u/sourcandy78 to "stay away."
"The problem is that I'm very close to his family since they're like a second family to me," u/sourcandy78 wrote. "Usually in the summer, I go on vacation with my friend, his sisters, my siblings, and some of their cousins (and spouses). The trip for this year has already been booked but she wants me to not go out of respect for her and her relationship."
But u/sourcandy78 said she has no intention of missing the trip.
"I told her if I made her so uncomfortable she could just not go since I was going to go," u/sourcandy78 recalled.
Naturally, the response caused an argument between the two women.
"She accused me of being after a free vacation and told me I couldn't stay in their family vacation home and I would need to get a hotel room if I insisted on going," u/sourcandy78 concluded. "I told her that wasn't up to her and we could ask her future father-in-law if I could stay there or not."
Speaking to Elite Daily, certified dating coach Damona Hoffman said it's OK for a person to be friends with an ex, so long as they're honest about it.
"If you and your ex can see one another without any risk of catching feelings again, I think it's OK to be friends regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not," Hoffman said. "Just be upfront with your new love about it."
Relationship coach Fran Greene, on the other hand, said exes should only be friends if the breakup was mutual.
"If you insist on being friends with your ex, you must have a 90-day no contact rule. After that, you can resume your friendship with one other caveat: your breakup must have been mutual. If not, no renewed friendship. Remember, this is good for you and important for your new relationship!" Green advised.
Many commenters said they could understand why the fiancée in u/sourcandy78's story would feel uncomfortable, and slammed u/sourcandy78 for telling her off.
"The woman has every right to be uncomfortable with the fact that her fiancé's ex goes on vacation with the family every year. The primary a**holes here are your ex, his family, and you for not even bothering to see things from her perspective on this," wrote u/greenseraphima.
"OP [original poster] is clearly overstepping boundaries. Imagine your fiancé still vacations and hangs with their ex of 4 years, but they never told you they've dated," offered u/Difficult_E.
Others, however, felt u/sourcandy78 did nothing wrong.
"NTA [not the a**hole], it's not your fault nor your problem that she's insecure enough to be threatened by your very presence. And you're exactly right, it's not up to her. It's up to the friend's family," commented u/gamblingGenocider.
"NTA. Her discomfort is her problem. She shouldn't try to break up a very close friendship (with the family, too!!!) just because she thinks her partner will cheat," added u/Impossible-Pause3788.
Newsweek has reached out to u/sourcandy78 for comment.
Other viral AITA posters include a bride refusing to let her parents' boyfriend walk her down the aisle, a woman refusing to let her brother's "bully" wife be a bridesmaid and a husband who did nothing as his wife was forcibly removed from his office.
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