Finding your future: Getting through a tough divorce as a Christian ... - Racine County Eye
As a Christian going through a divorce, you may be struggling to navigate many difficult issues. You may be worried that divorce isn't sanctioned by your faith or that dating after a divorce is classed as adultery. It's likely that you're having to cope with conflicting feelings of guilt, shame, relief and hope.
Keeping in mind that, as a Christian, you are following God's plan for you—which includes this hard stage of the journey—may help you find peace. And there are plenty of other steps you can take to help promote your own personal healing and get back onto the path once more.
1. Comfort from the Bible
If you're going through a separation or divorce, the Bible can be a profound source of comfort and guidance. Finding peace may seem virtually impossible, but the words of Isaiah may help: "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you." (Isaiah 26:3)
The Bible also reassures us that we have a future ahead of us; however bleak things may seem at the time, we still have a purpose and potential for fulfillment. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" (Jeremiah 29:11)
2. Consider Christian marriage counseling
For many couples who are going through difficulties, marriage counseling can be a good way, with the help of a therapist, to find a way forward—and could even save a struggling relationship. If you're a Christian, finding a therapist who understands your beliefs and values is likely to be very important. As well as traditional in-person sessions, you may also like to try Christian marriage counseling online as a convenient option to get the support you need that can work around your and your spouse's commitments.
As a Christian marriage counselor, your therapist is likely to offer advice and guidance from a position that reflects your religious core beliefs and with a focus on a Biblical perspective.
3. Making connections
Connecting with other Christians who are divorced or going through a divorce can be an important way to access support and deal with any feelings of isolation—or even shame—that you may be feeling. If you and your former spouse regularly attended a specific church, you may wish to consider finding a new church as a way to meet people who'll know you as yourself rather than as part of a couple. You may even wish to consider starting your own Christian divorce support group in your local area if none currently exists.
4. Confront your feelings
For some Christians, the idea of divorce is inherently connected to feelings of shame and guilt—divorce is viewed as a sin. Trying to repress these feelings can make things worse. Allowing yourself to confront and experience these difficult emotions—perhaps with the support of a therapist—is an essential part of processing them and, ultimately, healing. Letting go of these feelings and trusting in God's plan for you is one of the most powerful ways to navigate divorce as a Christian.
5. Moving on
At some point after the divorce—maybe in a matter of months, maybe a matter of years—you may decide that you're ready to move on. Part of this process could be considering dating again. There is no guidance in the Bible regarding the right time to seek a relationship following a divorce; the most important thing is that you are fully healed and feel that the time is right.
Online dating can be a great way to meet new people and get back into the dating game. There are some sites that are designed specifically for Christians to help you meet someone who shares your beliefs and values. Alternatively, you may wish to sign up to a 'mainstream' dating site, which will allow you to potentially match with a wider pool of people—you can always stipulate, if you wish, that you are a Christian in your profile and are looking to match with those of the same faith.
The takeaway: life for a Christian after a divorce
Going through a separation or divorce is always tough. However, if you're Christian, you may be dealing with issues around guilt and shame on top of the emotional fallout. Use the guide above to help you navigate this difficult time and find the comfort and sense of a future that you deserve.
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